I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
