I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
