he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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