I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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