FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
