he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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