If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The uberlube is also flammable
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
