Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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