You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
