i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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