I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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