This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
