Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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