I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
