Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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