Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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