After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
