and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
