if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
