I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
