Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
