he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
