Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
