well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
