and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
