DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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