May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
