brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I skipped work to stalk him.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
