$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
