Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
