I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
