My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
