I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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