I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I could fuck to npr.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
