You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
