I can tuck mytits in my pants
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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