Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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