obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
