im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
This house was built for laser tag.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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