Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
