he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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