and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
