Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
