I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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