I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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