laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
