Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
