im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Houston, we have a blender
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
