Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
