Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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