I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
