Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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