See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
