yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
